Aug 182011
 

Scott: There’s the first ball. Way to jinx him, Larry.
LA: Is it my fault?
Scott: So many things, Larry, are your fault. We’re not gonna put this one at your doorstep.
LA: The more I’m lookin’ at it, the more I’m thinkin’ it is my fault.

 Posted by at 12:44 am
Aug 192011
 

JJ: You’re not feeling the home run with Herndon batting?
LA: No, I just forgot to announce the contestant. Wasn’t thinking.
JJ: They say that about you.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 192011
 

Scott: He says it’s a mechanism to help him remember to stay closed.
LA: Well he’s got a real short memory cuz he does it after every pitch.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 202011
 

Scott: If this contestant wins $10,000, he should have us over for steaks on his grill.
LA: I’ll even bring my own steak.
Scott: Do you have a bad grill?
LA: Pretty much most of my life I’ve had a bad grill.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 202011
 

Scott: They must love that Ian Desmond bobble head doll giveaway.
LA: I think they just like the Ian Desmond bobble. They get it home, open it up, and the ball falls out of his hand.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 202011
 

LA: Gotta be scared being in the box facing a hard thrower who’s as wild as Henry Rodriguez.
Scott: I know you would be.
LA: I’m scared from here.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 202011
 

Scott: Phillies fans are greeting Ryan Zimmerman with lots of boos after last night’s walk-off grand slam.
LA: And it’s not like they’re saying “Zooo” because that doesn’t have anything to do with Zimmerman.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 212011
 

Scott: With as slow as Chien-Ming Wang is working, you don’t even need a foul ball to take a station ID.
LA: You can do it during his windup. This is ridiculous.
Scott: Pretty sure you could read a book too.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 212011
 

LA: What we have here is a high-pressure system over the area, with the convection.
Scott: Just throwin out weather words.
LA: Having no clue what they mean.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 212011
 

LA: The Phils took Halladay out after the rain delay, and went with Michael Schwimer for three innings. he did a great job after the first batter, and it was kinda like sink or Schwim… er.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 222011
 

LA: His shirt looked like he just pulled it out of his wallet. I said, “What did you do, iron it with a rock?” and then he showed me his other shirt with ice cream all down the front. Could you bring in one of Gus’s bibs tomorrow, please?
Scott: I’ll see what I can do.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 222011
 

Scott: He says, “We take it a little personal”
LA: Maybe they should take it personal that they’re under .500.
Scott: “Hopefully we’ll be taking over their stadium in the next couple years.”
LA: Yeah that’s gonna happen. Might just wanna wait on that comment.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 222011
 

JJ: What’s taking Angel Pagan so long to get out of the dugout?
LA: Might be a washroom break.
JJ: After grounding out on the first pitch, he spent more time getting to the plate than at the plate.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 232011
 

LA: I thought [the earthquake] was just a gust of wind.
Scott: I thought it was just Gus.
LA: I thought the Nationals were playing a day game and Todd Coffey was running in from the bullpen.

LA: At the time, I was going for a bike ride and–
Scott: What??

LA: I thought it was either an earthquake or Sarge was nearby snoring.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 232011
 

LA: During an earthquake, you always want to stay above ground. That way you’ll feel it less.
Scott: Larry, at your age, staying above ground is always a good thing. Not to mention the way you’ve treated yourself over the years.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 242011
 

[To Charlie Manuel, during pre-game interview:]
Wheels: Is John Mayberry, Jr. becoming more and more a part of your present and your future?

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 242011
 

LA: Ruiz holds the glove right in the strike zone, but Andy Fletcher is too cool for school, won’t give a reason for the call.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 242011
 

Scott: Acosta has a 7 ERA, second-worst in the majors this month.
LA: Second worst?
Scott: Yup.
LA: Wow, somebody’s strugglin’.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 242011
 

LA: He says he needs to start getting more mean. Now’s where he needs to get mean.
Scott: Ball four, and he walks the leadoff man, which is not mean. It’s rather gracious.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 262011
 

Scott: McKeon takes a slow walk out to the mound. I’m not sure if Jack McKeon, at his age, has any other walk than slow.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Oct 012011
 

Scott: Get into the swing with the home run playoff payoff with the Daily News.
LA: And it’s easy to playoff play, Scott.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Apr 032012
 

Scott: Poor Sarge. He’s taking a beating here these days.
LA: It’s not right.
Scott: He’s still lookin’ to try and figure out how to get to the app store.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
May 152012
 

LA: Grab the MLB At-Bat 2012 app for your iPhone, iPad, Sarge’s iDroid, Android…
Scott: I don’t think they want you to just start making stuff up.

 Posted by at 2:20 am
Jun 062012
 

Scott: That bird has been here all spring. He’s nesting on the steel beam in front of us and keeps flying out to centerfield.
LA: Maybe to Ashburn Alley for a hoagie.
Scott: A hoagie sounds pretty good right now. A warm hoagie.
LA: Maybe a worm hoagie.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jun 072012
 

JJ: [The coffee stain] is a good look.
LA: It is a good look. It’s like abstract art on your shirt.
JJ: Looks like I might have a stomach issue.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jun 192012
 

LA: Ya wanna finish this sentence for me? There ain’t a cow in Texas if the Phillies don’t…
Scott: Play at least 8 1/2 innings tonight. And suddenly the lights go out.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jun 202012
 

Scott: Are you alright?
LA: There was a fly flyin’ around while I was reading my card, and I was swatting at it. So I was reading, swatting, and trying not to knock stuff over at the same time.
Scott: I thought you were doing hand gestures for emphasis on the read.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jun 212012
 

Scott: David Price was at the White House today. He wore jeans. Now I’m not one to dress up, but you’d think if you were going to White House–
LA: I’d wear my good jeans!

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jul 162012
 

Scott: I don’t remember seeing this umpiring crew this year.
LA: I remember Mike Winters.
Scott: Well, you’re the expert.
LA: I love ‘em all.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jul 272012
 

Scott: Do you think Chipper’s game-used glove is going to be worth more than this broadcaster’s game-used soda cup?
LA: Oh that thing’s filled up. It’s a treasure (tray-sure). It’s a treasure trove.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 042012
 

LA: “To register, go to– uh, Phillies.com.”
Scott: Phillies.com/JuniorPhilliesClub. Your card doesn’t have that?
LA: No. It just says, “To register, go to… blank.”

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 102012
 

Scott: The advertisement says, “Wear your acid-wash jeans and best flannel for 90s retro night.”
LA: Don’t bring your average flannel, or even your second-best flannel
Scott: That’s to imply you have more than one piece of flannel. I think all I’ve got are pajamas.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 282012
 

LA: “Start practicing your fake cough so you can get out of work and attend the Citizens Bank businessperson’s special.”

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Aug 292012
 

Scott: Jerry Lane was pointing to the sky with that strike call. As if to say, “I’m number one!”
LA: Well… nevermind. I don’t wanna get in trouble.
Scott: Oh, so now you say that.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Sep 112012
 

LA: Nolan Ryan was the only guy to approach the manager and say, “Skipper, can you keep Larry Andersen out of my games from now on.”
Scott: If I were him, I would have taken action as well.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Sep 142012
 

Scott: Utley never swings at that 3-0 fastball. I wonder if he’ll ever “lion-in-the-weeds” and just ambush it once.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Oct 012012
 

LA: Notice I went to the cloud on my own this time?
Scott: Your proficiency is astounding.
LA: Although my daughter told me today that technology has surpassed me.
Scott: And this was a news flash? Probably because you still have “3G.”

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Oct 022012
 

Scott: That’s a 3-2-5-2-3 putout on the run-down, if you’re scoring at home.
LA: Another chance to put “RD” in my scorebook.
Scott: “RD”?
LA: Run-down.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Oct 022012
 

Scott: By 5:00 tomorrow, I’m pretty sure we’re done talking for the year. I’m just kiddin’ pal, you can call me anytime, any day!
LA: You just won’t answer.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Feb 242013
 

Scott: Freddie Galvis sustained a double fracture last season.
LA: I had a double-bogey fracture on the golf course yesterday.

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Feb 242013
 

Scott: Without looking, spell Alburquerque.
LA: A, L, B– am I close?

Editor’s note: This is in reference to the pitcher Al Alburquerque, who spells his name differently than the city Albuquerque, New Mexico.

 Posted by at 6:00 am
Mar 032013
 

LA: Eric Kratz makes a perfect throw to Darin Ruf. Only problem is that Darin Ruf’s in left field, and not at third base.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Mar 032013
 

Scott: You’re not gonna do the digital scorebook this year?
LA: Well, I could either do the digital scorebook, or talk throughout the game.
Scott: How about you do the digital scorebook.

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Mar 102013
 

Scott: Andy Fletcher is the home plate umpire today. He’ll be yelled at later by LA.
LA: How do you know it’s gonna be later?
Scott: Anytime after I mentioned it.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Mar 102013
 

LA: Howard losing a step is like me losing a strand of hair. Is it “strand”?
Scott: For you, I think it’s more like clumps.
LA: I’ve been shedding since I was 28!

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Mar 132013
 

LA: I’ve proven that more is not always better.
Scott: How so?
LA: One ream is better than two.
Scott: Yes, we have some short chairs in this booth.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Mar 172013
 

Scott: So Larry, you’ll be co-hosting a show with John Brazier.
LA: I don’t know if I’d call it a show.
Scott: Then what would you call it?
LA: I’d preface it with something before “show.”

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Mar 172013
 

LA: I’m not really excited to be co-hosting a show with Brazier. It’s the whole guilt-by-association thing.
Scott: Now you know what I’ve been dealing with this whole time.

 Posted by at 3:00 am
Mar 232013
 

LA: Just think, in seven months you’ll be able to choose your own friends.
Scott: I’m just hoping to get through the spring.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Mar 292013
 

LA: I was trying to match Sarge’s key when singing Happy Birthday.
Scott: What was that key?
LA: I’m not allowed to tell.
Scott: As long as Sarge doesn’t have his car keys.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Mar 292013
 

Scott: What are you doing?
LA: I hooked my headphone wires up to the bulletin board.
Scott: Folks, Larry’s headphone wires are literally hooked onto the bulletin board with about five tacks. He’s going to get whiplash if he makes any sudden movements, because he’ll be completely tangled in cords.

 Posted by at 3:00 am