LA: I don’t think the Reds are gonna be in the playoffs. No, seriously.
LA: Oh, now [umpire] Jim Wolf is gonna stand there with his hands on his hips, all indignant.
Scott: Big word for you.
Scott: What takes longer, one pitch from Jeanmar Gomez or a home run trot by Yoenis Cespedes?
LA: I just don’t get it.
Scott: You’re the consummate partner!
LA: I’ve never seen a group of outfielders like the Phillies have such a hard time picking up a baseball from the ground.
Scott: Hot potato!
LA: Cespedes has no respect for the game, no respect for the players whatsoever.
LA: Maybe I’m caught up in semantics.
LA: How do you say Honda in Canada? Hyundai?
Scott: How many cats do you have in your house right now?
Stairs: We’re fostering one right now with a broken leg, so ten. And a rabbit named Rafiki.
Scott: I’m not gonna test your steel trap with a look at what’s in the cloud.
LA: Do the Phillies outfielders go out there with grease on their hands? I’m serious!
LA: I’m not qua- qual- qualified enough to give a talk on college night.
Scott: Pretty obvious, the way you got that sentence out!
LA: I rest my case!
Scott: I guess that happy pill that JJ gave you isn’t working.
LA: Neither of these teams can claim total ugliness. It’s shared between them both!
LA: This is the first time this year that Williams Perez has struck out 6 batters.
Scott: A new season high.
LA: No, I didn’t say that. It’s just the first time he has struck out exactly 6. He had 7 as well.
LA: Why would [pitching coach] Roger McDowell go out to talk to [pitcher] Perez right after a strikeout? To congratulate him on reaching his career-high in one game?
Scott: I don’t know if you noticed, but Roger McDowell presented him with a little trophy.
LA: My hands are still sore from catching that ball yesterday. From reaching into my briefcase to get the ball.
Scott: From patting yourself on the back for such a clever maneuver.
LA: I always wonder, what came first, the tools or the ignorance?
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott, even if you can’t bark.
Scott: Speaking of making funny faces, what on Earth happened to your chin?
LA: I had a little battle with the chandelier.
LA: Think any dogs here at bark in the park night have stayed til the bitter end?
Scott: Maybe some that would have left two innings ago, but they couldn’t drive.
LA: Maybe some have had too much water.
LA: Why is there air?
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott!
Scott: Twice in one day, Larry!
LA: Can somebody please explain to me how you can steal second standing up? Unbelievable!
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott, even when it’s not the cold and flu season.
Scott: Have no fear, the Phanatic is here. On top of the dugout.
LA: I didn’t know that I didn’t know about it.
LA: That was just a whirly bird in the middle of the plate.
LA: I was saying “of course” facetiously.
Scott: Of course you were.
LA: A man lay dead in a pool full of red with a stick beside his head. What happened?
Scott: I don’t know. There’s a baseball game going on right now.
LA: He ate a poisoned popsicle. Get it?
Scott: Maybe you should come out of retirement. The Phillies could use bullpen help.
LA: I know I could throw strikes. But I don’t know if they’ll change the rules to allow me to use an L-screen.
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott, even with the threat of rain.
LA: Tomorrow it will be a high of 55.
Scott: Are you making that up?
LA: I am not making that up!
Scott: Are you being a weather alarmist?
LA: My writing got very very small for this [long] inning.
Scott: So did your attention span.
Scott: I’m so glad I called dibs on the couch in the broadcasters room.
Scott: It’s the most ugly perfect comeback we’ve seen in a while.
Scott: The Mets have used 7 pitchers to get the last 6 outs.
LA: It just doesn’t make sense.