Sep 022015
 

LA: I’ve never seen a group of outfielders like the Phillies have such a hard time picking up a baseball from the ground.
Scott: Hot potato!

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Sep 042015
 

Scott: How many cats do you have in your house right now?
Stairs: We’re fostering one right now with a broken leg, so ten. And a rabbit named Rafiki.

 Posted by at 3:00 am
Sep 072015
 

LA: I’m not qua- qual- qualified enough to give a talk on college night.
Scott: Pretty obvious, the way you got that sentence out!
LA: I rest my case!

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Sep 072015
 

LA: This is the first time this year that Williams Perez has struck out 6 batters.
Scott: A new season high.
LA: No, I didn’t say that. It’s just the first time he has struck out exactly 6. He had 7 as well.

 Posted by at 5:00 am
Sep 072015
 

LA: Why would [pitching coach] Roger McDowell go out to talk to [pitcher] Perez right after a strikeout? To congratulate him on reaching his career-high in one game?
Scott: I don’t know if you noticed, but Roger McDowell presented him with a little trophy.

 Posted by at 6:00 am
Sep 072015
 

LA: My hands are still sore from catching that ball yesterday. From reaching into my briefcase to get the ball.
Scott: From patting yourself on the back for such a clever maneuver.

 Posted by at 7:00 am
Sep 092015
 

Scott: Speaking of making funny faces, what on Earth happened to your chin?
LA: I had a little battle with the chandelier.

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Sep 092015
 

LA: Think any dogs here at bark in the park night have stayed til the bitter end?
Scott: Maybe some that would have left two innings ago, but they couldn’t drive.
LA: Maybe some have had too much water.

 Posted by at 3:00 am
Sep 242015
 

LA: A man lay dead in a pool full of red with a stick beside his head. What happened?
Scott: I don’t know. There’s a baseball game going on right now.
LA: He ate a poisoned popsicle. Get it?

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Sep 242015
 

Scott: Maybe you should come out of retirement. The Phillies could use bullpen help.
LA: I know I could throw strikes. But I don’t know if they’ll change the rules to allow me to use an L-screen.

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Sep 302015
 

LA: Tomorrow it will be a high of 55.
Scott: Are you making that up?
LA: I am not making that up!
Scott: Are you being a weather alarmist?

 Posted by at 1:00 am