LA: I spend most of my time in the fog.
Scott: Reds four, Phillies one.
LA: Phillies won?
Scott: The night is young.
LA: The night is but a pup.
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott, even if you don’t know the difference between Cincinnati and St. Louis!
LA: And with two hits by the Phillies here already in the first inning, we know Cole Hamels is not pitching.
LA: It’s all about cheese and ketchup. Look for the cheese, and catch up.
Scott: Larry, is this one of those moments when Carlos Ruiz and Severino Gonzalez are gonna speak Panamanian to each other?
Scott: Does this mean [pitching coach] Bob McClure had to learn Panamanian, too?
LA: Rosetta Stone.
LA: I’ll tell you one thing: it is hot in Texas in the summer.
LA: Why is it so hard to hit the ball and run?
Scott: You’re talking about the running part, right?
LA: What the heck happened?
Scott: O’Sullivan wears the legendary number 47 on his jersey.
LA: Amaury Telemaco! I like saying Amaury Telemaco.
Scott: That’s why they call you Analytics Andersen.
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott, even if you have a bum elbow from a golf ball!
LA: I didn’t say that third “W” very well in the website. Double-U, double-U, dub!
Scott: Instead of flying to Pittsburgh tomorrow, why don’t we just take a boat from here [in Cincinnati]? Do we have to go up the river or float down?
Scott: Larry, let’s start an app. Uber for boats!
LA: Shhhhh, don’t tell everybody! What will we call it?
LA: Not “you”-boat, “oo”-boat.
Scott: Do you think Greg Murph’s sweating down there? I don’t want to sit next to him on the boat.
Scott: That pitch is outside, and so are the birds.
Scott: What would your walk-up song be?
LA: “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers.
Scott: “Who Let the Dogs Out?”
LA: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”
LA: I like music, but I just don’t know it very well.
LA: How about a drive? And I don’t mean drive to Pittsburgh.
Scott: You mean a long drive for the baseball?
LA: He needs to sock a homer.
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott, even if you have a thunderstorm.
LA: Just to clarify, the balls weren’t literally jumping… They were really flying. But not literally.
LA: The Phillies have out-extra-base-hitted the Pirates today.
LA: “U-Boat X” just gets you a barge.
Scott: If you have a problem with the shift, beat it!
Scott: Cole Hamels will miss his start tomorrow.
LA: The news just keeps getting better and better!
Scott: The Phillies snap a nine-game losing streak!
LA: No lookin’ back now, partner! We’re on our way!
LA: You can’t lose ‘em all if you win one of ‘em.
Scott: The Cardinals are in town, and there’s a squirrel climbing the net behind the backstop.
LA: It’s 60s retro night. Bullwinkle must be runnin’ around here somewhere.
Ben: That squirrel jumping from the tightrope to the dugout was a leap of faith if I’ve ever seen one.
Scott: We’ve had some fans who have wanted to leap, as of late.
LA: I bet you ten years from now, teachers will be teaching via text.
Scott: Let’s pause for station identification on the grumpy Philadelphia Phillies network.
Scott: We’re a little short on brains up here.
LA: We’re kinda runnin’ outta time here.
Scott: For what?
LA: To win the game!
Ben: Larry, you’re sharp as a marble.
LA: I don’t get it.
Ben: When Pablo Sandoval was in the bathroom, he realized all the crosswords were done–
LA: And the Sudoku was done. So he had to go to the Instagram. Whatever that is.
Scott: Well I think the 2-down was still available.
Scott: They don’t call him the best color man in the business for nothin’ folks.
Scott: You called him Gregarious. Didi Gragarious.
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott, even if you don’t have power.
Scott: You can get an entry coupon from the Daily News and fill it out by candlelight!
Scott: Seriously, can’t we just have a normal game for once?
LA: Can’t happen. Not a lot of normalcy right now.
John Brazier: People who have more birthdays tend to live longer.
Scott: Do you think people can just walk up to the box office right now, and like, purchase a ticket for this game, the second game of the doubleheader?
LA: Why, are you thinking about going to the game?
LA: I feel like these headsets are squashing my squash!
LA: So instead of one shot at getting a run, now the Phillies have two shots.
Scott: You’re always up for two shots, aren’t ya?
LA: I’m painting an air conditioning compressor unit.
Scott: Man, I wish I had your problems.
LA: Not that anyone would ask me, but I couldn’t manage today.
Scott: Why not?
LA: By the time nine innings were over, I wouldn’t have nine players left to play. If you [Hernan Perez] haven’t ever hit a home run, you probably don’t know what one feels like, so you better be running out of the box.
LA: I would love to see Bob Gibson face Carlos Gomez. Probably only face him once before he went on the DL. I can do without the antics.
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott, even with lightning around.
Scott: Congratulations to Cody Asche, who turns 25 today.
LA: 25? Phew. Don’t know if I’ve ever been there.
Scott: You’ve pretty much been 16 all your life.
LA: Clear skies now.
Scott: I don’t think anything in here is real wood, so I’ll knock on your skull.
LA: That’ll work!
LA: My eyes are goin’.
Scott: Goin’ where?