Apr 032015
 

LA: If something’s frozen, and you need to unfreeze it, you put it in the freezer? It just doesn’t make sense. But it works!

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Apr 092015
 

Scott: Did you ever make any science projects?
LA: Yeah. I think I made a radio. You couldn’t hear it or anything, but I made a radio.
Scott: So you didn’t make a radio.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Apr 092015
 

Scott: Would you vote for “Whiskey Face” for the Phillies’ all-time franchise four?
LA: You can call me “Wine Face,” or just “Grape.”
Scott: I’ll call you “Whiner.” Or just “Great Ape.”

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Apr 102015
 

Scott: Everything okay there, partner? TV not working?
LA: Works now! They just don’t work good when they’re not plugged in.

 Posted by at 3:00 am
Apr 102015
 

LA: I swear they must have groups of 25 or more who come in here at night and just play with stuff.
Scott: Do you feel your workspace has been tampered with?
LA: Violated.

 Posted by at 4:00 am
Apr 102015
 

LA: Gio Gonzalez has a very good curve ball–
Scott: Base hit by Revere.
LA: And Ben Revere just had a sandwich with it… Yeah.

 Posted by at 6:00 am
Apr 102015
 

LA: I hope the Hall of Fame never comes knocking on the door for my scorebook. Not that they ever would.
Scott: Don’t sell yourself short, partner.

 Posted by at 8:00 am
Apr 102015
 

Scott: What are you doing with the lights there?
LA: The shadow is on my scorebook, and the track lighting isn’t bright enough, so I figure if I move it over a bit and bounce it off the wall, then…

 Posted by at 9:00 am
Apr 152015
 

Scott: That Ben Revere hit will give David Buchanan a bunting opportunity — and a booing opportunity for the Mets fans.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Apr 172015
 

LA: Chances don’t mean anything. They’re just chances. I had a chance to win the lottery.
Scott: How did that work out for ya?
LA: Not so well.

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Apr 172015
 

Scott: William Howard Taft won the presidents’ race tonight. He already has two wins in the early going.
LA: He’s hot.

 Posted by at 4:00 am
Apr 172015
 

Scott: Larry, what hurts more, that home run or watching that guy drink a beer right in front of you?
LA: The second one.

 Posted by at 5:00 am
Apr 222015
 

LA: I can’t believe they muted my mic.
Scott: Why did they mute your mic?
LA: I don’t know, but it was right before I called Asche’s home run.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Apr 222015
 

JJ: How did you celebrate Earth Day today?
LA: I looked at the trash in the street in front of me.
JJ: You looked at it. You didn’t pick it up?
LA: I thought about it.
JJ: That’s progress!

 Posted by at 5:00 am
Apr 222015
 

Scott: I bought a toy helicopter for Gus’s birthday today, which he thought was really cool, until Uncle Larry showed up and blew everybody out of the water.

 Posted by at 6:00 am
Apr 232015
 

LA: The Phillies have now taken over the NL team lead in errors.
Scott: It’s a hard-fought battle thanks to Ian Desmond. He’s been keeping the Nats in it.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Apr 232015
 

LA: You might want to take a bag of concrete out to those steps out in left field and replace those cement stairs. That ball was smoked by Giancarlo Stanton.

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Apr 232015
 

LA: What was Ichiro’s Zooperstar character?
Scott: Ichiroach.

Scott: Ground ball to short, and Ichiroach is retired.

 Posted by at 3:00 am
Apr 272015
 

Scott: Are you going up the Gateway Arch this year?
LA: No, it’s too high for me… I like going straight up, but I don’t like going up like an astronaut into orbit.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Apr 282015
 

LA: Randy Choate has eight appearances, for a total of one inning?? You talk about stealing — that is highway robbery right there.

 Posted by at 2:00 am