Scott: Larry, how do you do such advanced math?
LA: You know it’s not going well when teams on the west coast are finishing before you.
Scott: In my younger years, I was more impressionable, banking on your every word.
Scott: It’s a fastball, and Buchanan drills him right in the back.
LA: I don’t think he meant to do that.
Scott: You can tell that from all the way up here?
LA: I can read his mind.
Scott: Is that your kid? Couldn’t be more than five years old, and he’s yelling, “Ump, you —!” If they’re getting on the umpires that early, they must be from your lineage.
LA: When you get umpires involved, there’s a lot of things that can go wrong. Just get a random person to look at the replay and make the call.
Scott: I don’t know what you did to Mike Trout in that pre-game interview yesterday, but it worked!
LA: I got him nervous.
Scott: Is it against FAA regulations to transport a monkey?
LA: No. Not rally monkeys.
Scott: Huston Street’s family wanted his name to be representative of the state he was born in, but they didn’t want people to think he was from Houston, so they dropped the “O.”
LA: What state is named “Street”?
LA: Howard runs hard. He just doesn’t get there very fast.
Scott: Kyle Kendrick with a bat in his hands is dangerous. Maybe not to the pitcher–
LA: If he’s fightin’ ya!
LA: Every time I eat ice cream, my belt gets smaller.
LA: Fernando Rodney is one of the few pitchers in the Major Leagues whose hat didn’t come with instructions.
Scott: He wears it slightly askew.
Scott: He gets a lot of style points.
LA: He doesn’t want people to know where he’s lookin’.
Scott: Is it a Ryan Howard bobble figurine or bobble head?
LA: Just a bobble.
LA: … And it’s easy to play, Scott!
Scott: Even if you’re not paying attention, Larry!
LA: That was a throw-swing at the pitch for a single.
LA: And it’s easy to play, Scott, even if the umpires can’t call strikes.
JJ: How’s your cholesterol?
Larry: It’s so high I can’t count it.
LA: I’m surprised I’m still here.
LA: Are you talking to me?
Scott: Who else would I be talking to!?
LA: The longer this game lasts, the less we’ll have to sleep tonight.
Scott: I’m confused. I was talking about positive things.
LA: The difference between this extra-inning game and all the other ones we’ve played this year is that I was never using this pen.
Scott: Great job, Larry. I saw you blowing that ball foul.
Larry: It worked!
LA: I was just looking at the scoreboard and I thought it said “paper strikeout.” It actually said “plate appearances per strikeout — PA per strikeout.”