LA: With that kind of swing by Colon, there’s a pretty good chance the ball will still be round if he hits it.
Scott: There’s just one little cloud up there.
LA: Are you going to go to the cloud?
Scott: That cloud?
Scott: How would I do such a thing?
LA: I know how I would.
Scott: Well… this is a family show.
LA: A hit-by-pitch isn’t really a free pass, since you still have to pay for it.
Scott: Let’s call it a discounted pass.
Scott: What round were you drafted in.
LA: Seventh. I got the big glue.
LA: Do any players even put any thought into this game they play? I better stop right now.
LA: It’s easy to play [the home-run payoff inning].
Scott: Sure is, Larry. Even if you’re getting audited.
JJ: We have a rather ornery fan down there, LA.
LA: When they swing sometimes they’re not even hittin’ air.
LA: If you’re not gonna throw strikes, you might as well work a little quicker. It’s not a good sign when you see a couple guys yawning behind you.
Scott: It’s really bad when they lay down.
Scott: Both teams are sporting 60s throwback uniforms today.
LA: Today it’s just long socks and pajama bottoms.
LA: And it’s easy to play [the home-run payoff inning], even if you’re dressed up like Howdy Doody.
LA: Back in the 60s when they used these replica stick mics, where did they put their iPad?
LA: I told you he was gonna hit it into the outfield. Somewhere.
LA: I wasn’t trying to be confrontational.
Scott: You gave up on your stick mic?
LA: It was a little staticky.
Scott: I didn’t hear anything.
LA: Maybe it was just in my head.
Scott: That wouldn’t surprise me.
LA: I can feel the wheels still spinnin’, but the hamster is dead.
Scott: Roberto Hernandez has what you would classify as “baggy pants.”
LA: They’re just pajamas. No matter how you look at ‘em, they’re just pajamas.
Scott: Lots of extra room in there.
LA: Could sew the footies on them and walk around anywhere!
Scott: I turned to see where the ball was going, but the mic wasn’t going with me.
Scott: The Braves’ Tommy La Stella was a graduate of Coastal Carolina University, making him a Chanticleer.
LA: A chandelier?
LA: I told Tony Gwynn that I had a higher career batting average than him — I was 4-for-11. He said, “Huh?” I said, “I have hits in four of my eleven years in the majors.”
LA: After we were teammates, I faced Tony Gwynn seven times, and he only got six hits.
LA: How does a thermos know whether to keep it hot or cold?
LA: And it’s easy to play [the home-run payoff inning], Scott, even if you have Snickers in your mouth.
Scott: The bullpens are empty, so it looks like the relief pitchers have gone somewhere else on this hot afternoon.
LA: To another state.
Scott: Roberto Hernandez grounds out to the pitcher, and you will not see a player, who didn’t strike out, take a shorter walk to first base. He takes literally one step out of the box.
LA: It’s like he ran into a force field and bounced back.
LA: Why do you gotta be that way?
LA: Let me remind you, I was once a Major League athlete.
Scott: There’s a spider here in the corner crafting a little web. If the game gets boring, maybe I can watch that. And I can feed it the bug I brought from Atlanta.
LA: The Cardinals have had a runner on second… only two innings before this one… other than the sixth.
LA: And it’s easy to play [the home run payoff inning], Scott, even if there’s a rain delay.
LA: It’s easy to play, Scott, even if there’s moths around.
LA: Can’t go wrong if you see a wirefork show!
Scott: Somebody might lose an eye, but it’s gonna be fun!
LA: If something goes wrong at the wirefork show, you can always take it easy at the resort and spraw.
Scott: Just stick it one letter at a time, Larry.
LA: Is that a moth from St. Louis?
Scott: This is how epidemics get started.
LA: If the Phillies win this in the eleventh, I guarantee you there will be fireworks.
Scott: Another bold prediction.
LA: Going out on a limb.
Scott: Is it lonely out there?
Scott: You’re going to stick around to see the fireworks, right?
LA: I’ve seen enough!
Scott: Earlier today, Carlos Peña hit a home run into a bucket of brisket. The concessionaire pulled it out and it was all covered in barbecue sauce.
LA: Right about now [in the thirteenth inning], I’d eat that baseball.
Scott: I don’t know, Larry, why?
LA: I don’t know.
Scott: For the third time this year, we’ve done the fourteenth inning stretch.