Jun 032014

Scott: There’s just one little cloud up there.
LA: Are you going to go to the cloud?
Scott: That cloud?
LA: Yes.
Scott: How would I do such a thing?
LA: I know how I would.
Scott: Well… this is a family show.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jun 052014

LA: A hit-by-pitch isn’t really a free pass, since you still have to pay for it.
Scott: Let’s call it a discounted pass.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jun 122014

LA: If you’re not gonna throw strikes, you might as well work a little quicker. It’s not a good sign when you see a couple guys yawning behind you.
Scott: It’s really bad when they lay down.

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Jun 132014

Scott: You gave up on your stick mic?
LA: It was a little staticky.
Scott: I didn’t hear anything.
LA: Maybe it was just in my head.
Scott: That wouldn’t surprise me.
LA: I can feel the wheels still spinnin’, but the hamster is dead.

 Posted by at 5:00 am
Jun 132014

Scott: Roberto Hernandez has what you would classify as “baggy pants.”
LA: They’re just pajamas. No matter how you look at ‘em, they’re just pajamas.
Scott: Lots of extra room in there.
LA: Could sew the footies on them and walk around anywhere!

 Posted by at 6:00 am
Jun 162014

Scott: The Braves’ Tommy La Stella was a graduate of Coastal Carolina University, making him a Chanticleer.
LA: A chandelier?

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jun 162014

LA: I told Tony Gwynn that I had a higher career batting average than him — I was 4-for-11. He said, “Huh?” I said, “I have hits in four of my eleven years in the majors.”

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Jun 172014

Scott: The bullpens are empty, so it looks like the relief pitchers have gone somewhere else on this hot afternoon.
LA: To another state.

 Posted by at 2:00 am
Jun 172014

Scott: Roberto Hernandez grounds out to the pitcher, and you will not see a player, who didn’t strike out, take a shorter walk to first base. He takes literally one step out of the box.
LA: It’s like he ran into a force field and bounced back.

 Posted by at 3:00 am
Jun 192014

Scott: There’s a spider here in the corner crafting a little web. If the game gets boring, maybe I can watch that. And I can feed it the bug I brought from Atlanta.
LA: Epidemic.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jun 212014

LA: If something goes wrong at the wirefork show, you can always take it easy at the resort and spraw.
Scott: Just stick it one letter at a time, Larry.

 Posted by at 3:00 am
Jun 262014

LA: If the Phillies win this in the eleventh, I guarantee you there will be fireworks.
Scott: Another bold prediction.
LA: Going out on a limb.
Scott: Is it lonely out there?

 Posted by at 1:00 am
Jun 262014

Scott: Earlier today, Carlos Peña hit a home run into a bucket of brisket. The concessionaire pulled it out and it was all covered in barbecue sauce.
LA: Right about now [in the thirteenth inning], I’d eat that baseball.

 Posted by at 3:00 am