LA: Are you getting on the umpires already? It’s only the fifth game!
LA: With umpires these days, it’s just bungled play after bungled call, after bungled play after bungled call.
Scott: The Phanatic is here for every home game this spring, for the first time ever.
LA: He’s gonna smell real good when it’s over.
LA: So what does an MRI do? Tell you if something’s broke?
Scott: No, it tells you whether you have twins or not.
Scott: I just noticed a nest of spiders here in the booth.
LA: Do you have arachnophobia?
Scott: No, but it’s a web of webs getting me ready to go to Wrigley.
Scott: There’s been a lot of balls hit hard but right at fielders.
LA: That’s why they’re there.
LA: Where were those calls last inning with [Phillies pitcher] Holland on the mound!!??… Sorry, that just came out. Thought I was in the stands for a minute.
LA: I might be surprised that Asche didn’t tag up and go to third on that throw home.
Scott: “Might?” You speak in the future tense, as if next inning you might be surprised that Asche didn’t tag up.
Scott: Having a problem with the outlet?
Scott: Stick your finger in it. Find out if it really works.
Scott: The official umpire missed-play count from last year was one every six games.
LA: I don’t buy that for a second. Try one every six minutes.
Scott: In addition to Vidal Nuno, there was one other product out of Baker University. Your old teammate Zip Zabel, who played from 1911 to 1912.
Scott: Revere scores and it’s tied at seven. Seven hits for both teams and it’s only the fourth inning.
Scott: You’re gonna need a Seven-and-Seven soon!
Scott: Ryan Howard is 2-for-2 with a walk, which, by your math, gives him a three-thousand on-base percentage.
LA: Yup. And he’s batting two thousand.
Scott: That’s ball four and the bases are loaded.
LA: If we don’t get out of this inning soon, I’m gonna get loaded too.