Uncle Cholly: Ya know, when I was managing in Cleveland and we played here at PNC Park in interleague play, we didn’t win here neither.
LA: After his simulated workout, he had a simulated adult beverage.
LA: They have some guarded optimism here in Pittsburgh.
Scott: No Phillies player, Larry, has ever hit one into the Allegheny River. It’s been done 34 times by a total of 23 different players.
LA: I assume that’s the Allegheny out there behind right field?
Scott: What do you have over there? A tick?
LA: I don’t know. I guess. Looks like a tick, doesn’t it?
Scott: It does look like a tick. Where’d you find that?
LA: On my neck.
Scott: Not a good place for it. Was it on your neck cuz it couldn’t find your hair?
LA: Yeah! Tryin’ to climb– couldn’t find it!
Scott: I’m not trying to put words in your mouth. I’m just trying to give you options.
LA: I need words in my mouth, cuz some of the words that come out of my mouth I shouldn’t be sayin’.
Scott: They shouldn’t be uttered.
Scott: They’ll be having fireworks here tomorrow night.
LA: I thought they might be having fireworks tonight, with all the security around here. There’s a barge with police out in the river.
Scott: They’re closing off all your escape routes, Larry!
Scott: Hey Larry, you wanna take a look at my laptop and tell me why the WiFi doesn’t work?
LA: Well ya gotta plug it in!
Scott: That’s the whole point, it’s wireless.
LA: Battery dead?
Scott: Yeah, get your computer. We’ll jump-start it!
Scott: After sliding into home, Ben Revere does a– what do you call it? A tumblesauce?
LA: A tumblesauce.
LA: What’s wrong with the Internet?
Scott: I don’t know. Want me to take a look at it? The whole of the Internet?
Scott: You almost called Phillies Hall of Fame the Willies Hall of Fame, didn’t you?
LA: Yup… LA’s Wall of Shame.
Scott: You might be a glass or two in by the time JJ gets to postgame show. Who knows, you might already be a glass or two in!
LA: I think once you get past the twelfth inning, you should go to coach-pitch.
LA: My scorebook from last night looks like Gus got ahold of some pens of mine.
LA: Let’s look at Cole Hamels’s splits for day and night games. Let’s go to the cloud.
Scott: I don’t have those splits. Guess we have to go to a different cloud.
LA: I’m not gonna say it’s hot in the TV both, but Sarge lost 7 pounds in 3 innings last night.
Uncle Cholly: Ya know, the Cardinals are a team that likes to play and they play together good and things like that.
Scott: It is what it is.
LA: Whatever that means.
Scott: What? That’s what it is.
LA: Isn’t it?
Scott: I think it is.
Scott: It’s that point in the game when you look over to the TV both, and T-Mac looks back at you and says, “It’s not going well.”
LA: I gotta be honest, it’s really not going well now.
LA: I was gonna sing “Take Me Out To the Ballgame” but I’m already here. It should be “Take Me Home From the Ballgame.”
LA: Once again, I have disappointed myself.
Scott: That happens every day. How do you live with yourself?
Scott: Phanatic is right below us sharing his popcorn.
LA: He’s sharing it with his friends next to him, as well as everyone below him.
Scott: Like you said last night, he didn’t go get that ball, because he didn’t want that ball. You know that from experience.
LA: That’s a pretty big word.
Scott: Here’s a pop up foul, right below Larry.
LA: I didn’t make much of an effort on that one.
Scott: That’s a sizable creature that just flew in the window.