May 062013
 

Scott: It’s okay if you’re gonna argue about that ball, but perhaps not quite so demonstratively, because it’s not that bad of a pitch.

 Posted by at 1:00 am
May 062013
 

Scott: Maybe the umpires are conspiring to make your birthday miserable.
LA: All they had to do was show up.
Scott: Now you know how I feel whenever you walk through the door.

 Posted by at 1:22 am
May 062013
 

Scott: Larry is obviously upset at [home plate umpire] Alfonzo Marquez.
LA: Everybody’s upset.
Scott: Hey, it’s your birthday. You can cry if you want to!

 Posted by at 1:36 am
May 062013
 

Scott: In addition to Larry, it’s also Willie Mays’s birthday today. I told the others that today is the birthday of the greatest living ballplayer of all time. They said, “Yeah, his statue is in front of the stadium!” I said, “Larry has a statue?”

 Posted by at 1:41 am
May 062013
 

Scott: I like how you planned to come to the west coast the night before your birthday, so that you can have three more hours of 59-years-and-holding. What would you call those three hours?
LA: In limbo.

 Posted by at 1:48 am