Scott: Matt, I’m playing the Larry Andersen role right now, not even watching, just trying to get my scorebook right.
LA: Eric Kratz makes a perfect throw to Darin Ruf. Only problem is that Darin Ruf’s in left field, and not at third base.
Scott: You’re not gonna do the digital scorebook this year?
LA: Well, I could either do the digital scorebook, or talk throughout the game.
Scott: How about you do the digital scorebook.
Scott: Andy Fletcher is the home plate umpire today. He’ll be yelled at later by LA.
LA: How do you know it’s gonna be later?
Scott: Anytime after I mentioned it.
LA: Howard losing a step is like me losing a strand of hair. Is it “strand”?
Scott: For you, I think it’s more like clumps.
LA: I’ve been shedding since I was 28!
LA: I’ve proven that more is not always better.
Scott: How so?
LA: One ream is better than two.
Scott: Yes, we have some short chairs in this booth.
Scott: Have you figured out how that Google thing works yet?
Scott: Justice is blind, Larry! And so are the umpires!
Scott: The clouds are slowly moving in.
LA: They’re all moving into my brain. It’s a bit cloudy in there.
Scott: So Larry, you’ll be co-hosting a show with John Brazier.
LA: I don’t know if I’d call it a show.
Scott: Then what would you call it?
LA: I’d preface it with something before “show.”
LA: I’m not really excited to be co-hosting a show with Brazier. It’s the whole guilt-by-association thing.
Scott: Now you know what I’ve been dealing with this whole time.
LA: Just think, in seven months you’ll be able to choose your own friends.
Scott: I’m just hoping to get through the spring.
Scott: Go to the cloud, Larry!
LA: I can only hear in one ear, but at least I know I’m surrounded by surround sound.
LA: The ball’s not carrying to the first base coach’s box today.
LA: That ball got small real fast when it left Howard’s bat.
LA: I was trying to match Sarge’s key when singing Happy Birthday.
Scott: What was that key?
LA: I’m not allowed to tell.
Scott: As long as Sarge doesn’t have his car keys.
Scott: You just remember everything, don’t you?
LA: You can’t let this game pass you by, Scott.
Scott: What are you doing?
LA: I hooked my headphone wires up to the bulletin board.
Scott: Folks, Larry’s headphone wires are literally hooked onto the bulletin board with about five tacks. He’s going to get whiplash if he makes any sudden movements, because he’ll be completely tangled in cords.