Scott: I think you might be right. I don’t say that often.
Scott: Worley trying to hit that inside corner twice now.
LA: And only hit it twice.
LA: Let’s just forget the home plate and put your little tee up there and let them hack away at it.
Scott: Not a good start to this one.
LA: At least it’ll be a quick one… he said facetiously.
Scott: [Dee Gordon] struck out, was caught stealing, was picked off, and scored in the first.
Scott: Dubee had to give a little dissertation there to Bastardo.
Scott: [Umpire] D.J. Reyburn hasn’t made a whole lot of friends tonight.
Scott: That bird has been here all spring. He’s nesting on the steel beam in front of us and keeps flying out to centerfield.
LA: Maybe to Ashburn Alley for a hoagie.
Scott: A hoagie sounds pretty good right now. A warm hoagie.
LA: Maybe a worm hoagie.
JJ: How was golf today, LA?
LA: A little breezy after the tenth hole. Had a wardrobe malfunction… Something I don’t think a seamstress could even repair… Don’t bend over on the golf course.
JJ: Before we get in trouble, let’s change the subject.
Scott: They have Todd Coffey listed at 6-4, 280 pounds.
LA: Might just wanna put 6-4, large. Or extra large.
LA: Do you think that changeup was Cole Hamels’s Citizens Bank Visa Card changeup? Can use it anywhere, anytime?
Scott: You’re brimming with confidence, anytime, anyday. It allows you to play eight holes of golf with a giant hole in your pants.
LA: Pierre hits a nice butcher-boy slap to the right side.
LA: Perhaps this will be one of those days.
Scott: One of what days?
LA: Just one of those days.
LA: The birds — they’re back!
Scott: They never left. They live here, Larry.
LA: Don’t they grow up?
Scott: Freddie Galvis was sent to the DL with a lower back strain.
LA: I thought it was pain.
Scott: It was pain at the time. Now it’s a strain. The strain caused the pain.
LA: Nary a home run for any of the Phillies pitchers to this point.
LA: They must be using a grease ball out there.
JJ: Did you get the pants fixed?
LA: No. They’re gone. Beyond help.
JJ: Not enough yarn out there. They died in infamy.
JJ: We just had another coffee incident here, folks. This one got me. This shirt’s damaged — might be heading toward where your pants went… It’s pretty obvious I’ve been wounded here… I felt something warm on my arm… I’m almost afraid to sit down here.
LA: You got it on your back too! That was a quick inning. What happened?
JJ: Just a big coffee spill in the bottom of the fourth inning.
JJ: [The coffee stain] is a good look.
LA: It is a good look. It’s like abstract art on your shirt.
JJ: Looks like I might have a stomach issue.
LA: You just can’t beat fun at the ol’ ballyard.
Scott: $1000 for a home run, $10,000 for a grand slam.
LA: It’s easy to play. It’s not easy to say.
LA: It feels just like 65 degrees.
Scott: Stop it. It’s been too long a day for you to start with your “act.”
LA: It’s hard for me to track the ball if I take my eye off it.
Scott: I’m glad I don’t have to agree with you.
LA: I thought Rollins standing at first base was Pierre, and then I saw Pierre in the box, and I realized Pierre couldn’t be both of them.
Scott: I would say this game qualifies as “not going well.”
LA: He was chuckin’ and duckin’ on that one.
LA: I feel like I’m playing peek-a-boo with Gus. Watch the play, then duck behind the TV to shield the sun.
Scott: Ya know, Larry, we say it all the time, but you can play in the… You can win $1000, $10,000, or the coveted Phillies Fan Pack.
Scott: Sarge is sitting in an empty booth next to us and I could hear him go, “Whoa!”
Scott: It was a light drizzle today. It wasn’t even invisimist.
Scott: Perhaps we can discuss your walk in downtown Minneapolis today.
LA: You were right there walking with me.
Scott: It was certainly the dumb leading the blind. All in an effort to find out where Sarge was having lunch.
LA: The glare’s not as bad tonight. Did the building move?
Scott: 466 feet! Thome hit that ball out where you get walleye on a stick!
LA: There’s a ball on a stick right now.
Scott: Phillies one, Twins one.
LA: You’re speaking a little bit early. Phillies have not yet won.
Scott: Neither have the Twins then.
Scott: They’re still looking for the home-run ball [hit by Jim Thome].
LA: It exploded.
LA: I can’t multitask.
Scott: Many would argue you can’t singletask.
Scott: That was one of your classic not-hanging-on-your-every-word moments.
LA: I’m just talkin’ to myself.
Scott: You’re out there drinking with Derek Lowe apparently.
Scott: The fans aren’t happy.
LA: They hate those fake moves.
LA: Ya wanna finish this sentence for me? There ain’t a cow in Texas if the Phillies don’t…
Scott: Play at least 8 1/2 innings tonight. And suddenly the lights go out.
JJ: We’ve seen Mayberry watching lots of video. He’s a cerebral kid from Stanford.
LA: What do you think Hamels said to himself after that walk to the pitcher?
Scott: I shouldn’t do that.
LA: Gotta knuckle down here.
Scott: We sure have a lot of napkins on the counter here. Is that in case Jim Jackson spills his coffee again?
LA: You can never have too many napkins.
Scott: I gotta tell ya, you’re getting really good at using that mobile device. You’re getting things turned around.
LA: In sickness and in health.
LA: Chooch just continues to rake. And rake, and rake.
LA: The throw from Ruiz was going right for the squash.
Scott: Alex White was traded for one of your all-time favorite players, Ubaldo Jimenez. Ubaldez!
Scott: Are you alright?
LA: There was a fly flyin’ around while I was reading my card, and I was swatting at it. So I was reading, swatting, and trying not to knock stuff over at the same time.
Scott: I thought you were doing hand gestures for emphasis on the read.
Scott: It’s very weird to have one chair arm-rest higher than the other. I think there’s something missing. Maybe a screw loose or something.
LA: You certainly have a screw loose.
LA: The fly came back again. Did you see it? He won’t leave me alone!
JJ: Joe Blanton’s gonna have to swing earlier.
LA: Are you sure he wasn’t trying to hit the ball on its way back from the catcher?
Scott: Not a cloud in the sky tonight.
LA: Well not that we can see.
Scott: Well there are some somewhere.
Scott: What kind of justice?
Scott: You said sosal.
Scott: David Price was at the White House today. He wore jeans. Now I’m not one to dress up, but you’d think if you were going to White House–
LA: I’d wear my good jeans!
LA: There’s room for cheating in the game. It’s not cheating if you don’t get caught.
Scott: We go to the fourth, and Jim Jackson will join the cheater next.
LA: Rodney’s hat obviously didn’t come with instructions.
Scott: It’s more than slightly askew.
LA: His hat’s like he’s lookin’ in the dugout, but his eyes are lookin’ at the plate.
LA: If you keep winning series, you’ll climb up the ladderboard– leaderboard.
JJ: Climb up the ladder of the leaderboard.
LA: Thank you.
JJ: Wade Davis is batting a thousand. That won’t last too long.
LA: Yeah, cuz if he gets another hit, he’ll be batting two thousand.
LA: It’s John Frazier’s 26th anniversary of his 21st birthday.
Scott: It’s raining again.
LA: It’s a light mist. No, light rain.
Scott: It’s forcing some folks to abandon ship.
Scott: That fan is loud. Maybe you can sign him up to be your umpire yelling guy. How would you get him to say what you want?
LA: I’d just write a note and give it to him.
LA: There’s only three words to describe that play. Bad news bears. I haven’t seen that bad of a play since Little League. They certainly needed a tent for that one.
Scott: The circus is in town.
Scott: Does Vance Worley have the loudest warmup music in the league? I bet Sarge has that song on his–
LA: Worley’s not really in sync with his stuff right yet.
LA: It’s easy to play in the home-run payoff inning.
Scott: Even an IronPig could do it.
Scott: Chase Utley can’t wear his normal #26 during his rehab stint in Lehigh Valley, because 26 is iron’s number on the Periodic Table, which is also the IronPig mascot’s number.
LA: What did you say?
LA: I wasn’t very good at chemistry.
LA: The cat had my tongue. I was gonna say Wigginton would go yard. I had a feel.
Scott: We didn’t hear the traditional Chase Utley walk-up music. That’s the whole reason I came here tonight — to hear Led Zeppelin.