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Mar 032012
 

Scott: If you’re scoring at home, that was scored an error all the way. It’s all about accuracy, Larry.
LA: Yes, it is.
Scott: He’s not scoring in the booth, so you should be scoring at home.
LA: I was trying to figure out if I sneezed or not.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 032012
 

Scott: The Phanatic is here for spring training opening day. The information I have from the Phanatic’s best friend is that he will also be here for St. Patrick’s Day. Shocker.
LA: Hard to believe. That Phanatic can pick ‘em.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 032012
 

LA: I don’t wanna say Papelbon is goofy in a bad way. A little goofy in a good way.
Scott: Goofy in a closer kind of way.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 032012
 

LA: I just figured out what you said. And I thought it was something else.
Scott: Do I want to know what it was? On the air or off?
LA: I thought you said DUIs, and you looked at me. I’m like, why are you looking at me?
Scott: No, D. Wise, as in Dewayne Wise.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 032012
 

Scott: Scott Podsednik is from West Texas, which is not in west Texas. It’s actually in north-central Texas.
LA: That makes a lot of sense. It’s like me saying I’m from the South. South Seattle… Just move it to the west.
Scott: You can’t just move a town.
LA: You guys are in the wrong place. Move!

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 032012
 

LA: I found out that most accidents happen within 25 miles of your home, so I moved 30 miles away.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 032012
 

Scott: You alright?
LA: Yeah, I might be alright. Just trying to find my eye.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 032012
 

LA: I’ve turned over a new leaf. Love those umpires!

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 042012
 

LA: it’s either a base hit or an error on the third base bag.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 042012
 

LA: did they think andre the giant was going to call games from this booth?
scott: do you need a phone booth to sit on?
LA: wheels will take a phone booth. i’ll take a phone book.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 092012
 

LA: He’s gettin’ hit all over the place, Scott!
Scott: Hit in the batter’s box, hit by a throw over at first base.
LA: Watch out for a line drive.

 Posted by at 12:07 am

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Mar 092012
 

LA: Thanks to baseball, I figured out a whole bunch of different ways to spell holiday.
Scott: Bryan Holaday doesn’t spell it like having or celebrating a holiday. He doesn’t spell it like Matt Holliday.
LA: Or like Roy Halladay.

 Posted by at 2:12 am

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Mar 092012
 

Scott: Do you know at least one big-leaguer who is from Montana?
LA: Probably. I just don’t remember.
Scott: Caught in that steel trap that is–
LA: Rusted, complete.

 Posted by at 2:21 am

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Mar 092012
 

Scott: On the same webpage that lists player births by state, it lists players born in foreign countries and U.S. territories. It also lists one player as being born in the Atlantic Ocean. Ed Poray, who played three games in 1914.
LA: So what is his citizenship? He would have been a good waterboy.
Scott: Born in 1888 in “Atlantic Ocean.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Porray

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/p/porraed01.shtml

 Posted by at 2:27 am

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Mar 092012
 

LA: Curt Casali, the Commodore catcher from Connecticut.
Scott: Ball 2, low. Would have been good if is was a “called” third strike.
LA: Casali with a clunker.
Scott: “Can” we stop?
LA: Okay.

 Posted by at 2:34 am

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Mar 162012
 

LA: Back to the paper.
Scott: Larry was trying an automated scorebook on his favorite mobile device, which quickly became his not-so-favorite mobile device.
LA: I got through an inning and a half with it.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 162012
 

LA: Do you know what it would look like if I switched from the automated scorebook to paper? I wouldn’t know who did what.
Scott: How is that different from any other game?
LA: Good point!

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 162012
 

Scott: Last year, Justin Wilson had 67 walks in 124.1 innings.
LA: That’s just plain and simple ridiculous. I just for the life of me can’t understand how guys who can’t throw strikes get to big league camp. Any idea?
Scott: They drove. Pretty sure he didn’t walk.
LA: He’s got enough walks in him.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 162012
 

Scott: It’s not over til it’s over, Larry.
LA: That’s exactly right.
Scott: Don’t pack up your automated scorebook til it’s over.
LA: Oh, that part’s over.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 162012
 

LA: Tuffy’s gonna get a run home. Just lettin’ ya know, so that you’re not surprised when it happens.
Scott: Are you making a call?
LA: I didn’t say he’s getting three runs home, just getting a run home. If he gets something to hit.
Scott: All these qualifiers.
LA: Yeah, kinda takes a little bit away from it, doesn’t it?

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

Scott: How’s the app treating you?
LA: I just found that there’s another one. It might be better. Can I borrow $9.99?
Scott: Think we can do it off the air?

 Posted by at 12:40 am

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Mar 182012
 

Scott: And his pitch is… right there, for a ball.
Scott: Good thing your cough button worked there.

 Posted by at 12:51 am

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Mar 182012
 

LA: I’m excited to see Jose Contreras today. That’s, that’s–
Scott: That’s why you got out of bed today.
LA: Outside of love of the game.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

Scott: The Blue Jays have a new look this year. It’s the new old look.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

Scott: Even in batting practice, Hunter Pence is–
LA: Vicious.
Scott: And he’s grunting with every swing.
LA: He’s violent.
Scott: He’s punishing the baseball.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

LA: I got a problem.
Scott: If you weren’t with us Friday, Larry was trying out a new automatic scorebook on his favorite mobile device. It lasted an inning and a half, before he pulled out pencil and paper.
LA: I got ‘em both now. It’s gonna take a while, okay?

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

LA: For you fans at spring training, stay close in front of the booth and you might get yourself a new iPad. This has a very good chance of getting tossed.
Scott: Somehow it’s the machine’s fault. Never the operator.
LA: And it’s the application. Some people call ‘em apps.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

Scott: I don’t think we’ve ever had Chris Segal as umpire. Well by the end, you can tell us what you think.
LA: I can tell you what I think right now. But I’m not going to, because I’ve changed my ways.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

LA: Cole Hamels played in the Pro Am and overshot the green on a par 3. People were scattering. He said it was a little nerve-wracking.
Scott: Wheels was playing in it too.
LA: I could scatter some people.
Scott: You do that routinely, without a golf club in your hand.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

LA: Why is the announcer so mad at Ben Francisco?
Scott: It’s almost as if he has to yell so that everybody hears it.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

Scott: Charlie throws the foul ball into the stands, where three men about Charlie’s size begin to wrestle for it.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 182012
 

Scott: Anthony Gose has very much the Ricky Henderson look about him, with the heavy chain, and–
LA: The Mr. T starter set.
Scott: And the multicolored sunglasses.

 Posted by at 1:50 am

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Mar 182012
 

Scott: Perhaps you’re scoring at home with your own app.
LA: Or perhaps you can be like me and just buy apps and not even have any idea how they work.
Scott: You’re an appaholic. Just say no, Larry.

 Posted by at 1:56 am

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Mar 202012
 

Scott: Halladay gets a base hit and he’s 1-for-1 on the year.
LA: Talk about starting off hot for the spring.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 202012
 

Scott: We’ve heard many pronunciations of Luis Montanez, so we asked him what his mom calls him. He said, “Baby.”

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 202012
 

Scott: Scott Beerer comes in to pinch run.
LA: Who?
Scott: Scott Beerer. It’s B-e-e-r-e-r.
LA: I just don’t like putting that extra “er” on the end of some names.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 202012
 

Scott: …The accounts and descriptions of this game may not be disseminated without the expressed written consent of the Phillies.
LA: What happened before, when people were disseminating games?
Scott: I always thought you were sent to their houses to ask them to stop.
LA: Stop disseminating!

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 222012
 

LA: They must have known I’m using my automated scorebook. Anything to screw me up.
LA: iScore. Soon gonna be iScream.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 242012
 

LA: Was yesterday St. Patrick’s Day or something? Maybe today is. I think I turn green today.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 242012
 

Scott: Jet Blue Park is the first park we’ve seen that doesn’t have ballgirls or ushers down the line to retrieve foul balls in play. It’s a job for you if this doesn’t work out.
LA: Not so sure I’d be able to handle it. I don’t know how I’d look in Hooters shorts anyway.
Scott: Not sure if any of us want to find out.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 242012
 

Scott: And now it’s 8-2. Here comes the guy with the ladder again.

 Posted by at 1:04 am

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Mar 242012
 

LA: I think it’s mandatory that you have to play a four-hour game if you play any team from the American League East.

 Posted by at 1:28 am

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Mar 242012
 

Scott: Popped foul right behind the plate– and right into the lap of Vik Dewan, president of the Philadelphia Zoo.

 Posted by at 1:45 am

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Mar 242012
 

Scott: You don’t call them booths. They’re beeth.
LA: The plural of tooth is teeth, and the plural of booth should be beeth. It only makes sense.
Scott: Like driving in a parkway and parking in a driveway.
LA: That’s exactly right.

 Posted by at 1:49 am

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Mar 242012
 

Scott: Just put him down as Joe in your automatic scorebook. He’s just a placeholder. A back-of-the-book guy. Put him down as BOB — back of the book.

 Posted by at 1:49 am

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Mar 242012
 

LA: I think Hee’s socks are longer than his pants. He must be really short.

 Posted by at 1:49 am

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Mar 242012
 

LA: Now’s a good time to just sit and watch, and not worry about the scoresheet.

 Posted by at 2:56 am

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Mar 242012
 

Scott: The biomechanics people believe that Tommy John surgery could be avoided if pitchers use different mechanics.
LA: What kind of mechanics? Throw underhand?

 Posted by at 2:56 am

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Mar 242012
 

Scott: Experts think Steven Strasburg will get the same injury again, since he isn’t changing his mechanics.
LA: Maybe he should stop throwing so hard.

 Posted by at 2:56 am

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Mar 242012
 

Scott: Back with the totals and Larry’s sterling commentary, right after this.

 Posted by at 2:56 am

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Mar 282012
 

Scott: Where’d your scoring app go?
LA: It’s too much. The hits, and where the runners go, and…

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 282012
 

LA: The Phils can ill-afford to lose Galvis to injury.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 282012
 

LA: Today is the first day of the rest of your life, unless you were born on the other side of the international date line, in which case yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 282012
 

LA: I’ve come up with a couple new words this year.
Scott: Like?
LA: Opinionized.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 282012
 

Scott: We’re back, and it’s 11-1 Twins here in the fourth. And now with the play-by-play, here’s Larry.
LA: What?!

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 282012
 

LA: I’ve done my fair share of duntzing in the classroom.

 Posted by at 1:00 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: Pitching change here in the second brought to you by “more time.”

 Posted by at 12:33 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: Under the heading of “not a good idea” — that shirt you’re wearing tonight. Somebody spread a photo of it on the Internet, and now everybody’s Tweeting about it.

 Posted by at 12:48 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: The chairs are a little bit low, the window ledge is a little bit high
.
LA: And the seat cushions are very hard. Gonna grab some cotton candy to sit on!

 Posted by at 12:53 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: You wanna speed the game up? I got a good idea.
Scott: I know what it’s gonna be.
LA: I’m not gettin’ on any umpire. I’m just sayin’ expand the zone a little bit.

 Posted by at 1:24 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: Now the count is full, and Cano Will be off on the next pitch.
LA: I might go off on [home plate umpire] Mark Wegner on this next pitch.

 Posted by at 1:24 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: The pitch… just missed inside.
LA: Or did it?

 Posted by at 1:33 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: We have not played three innings! You’re probably aware of that.
Scott: Yeah, sittin’ on an hour and a half old right now.
LA: Sittin’ on two stink– stacks of paper, too, isn’t helping.

 Posted by at 1:33 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: Some people get to watch games this long every night.
Scott: Yeah, this is Yankee baseball right here. This is AL East baseball.

 Posted by at 1:34 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: Since Tom McCarthy is off tonight, I offered him the choice of driving himself, or riding with us and getting into the VIP parking. He chose to ride with us, which means he will have to wait until midnight to go home.
LA: Is that why he has a gun to his head?

 Posted by at 1:41 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: I wanna be down at the screen, right down at the plate to scream at Mark Wegman.

 Posted by at 1:55 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: They need to call that five-hour energy five-inning energy. I need to find some more.

 Posted by at 1:56 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: The scoreboard here has the score wrong. Get the kid from Fort Myers with the ladder to go out and put another number on the board.

 Posted by at 1:59 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: Did he cross the plate? If I had another ream of paper under me, I’d be able to see.

 Posted by at 2:00 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: It appears that both sides have had a bit of a tight zone.

 Posted by at 2:04 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: There might be a curfew before the ninth inning hits.

 Posted by at 2:05 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: Mark Wegner must have just looked at his watch and said, “This game’s going along, I might have to call a few strikes.”

 Posted by at 2:05 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: Perhpas all these calls are good ones and we just don’t have a good angle…
LA: Doubt it.

 Posted by at 2:06 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: Oh geez.
Scott: He went around.
LA: That’s what they said.

 Posted by at 2:44 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: It’s more like playing Wii with a right-hander facing a lefty like [Clay Rapada].

 Posted by at 2:50 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: Never know what you might find if you _read_, instead of just look at the pictures.

 Posted by at 2:59 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: Throw to third… he’s out. I don’t think he was, but that’s the call.
LA: I don’t either, but somebody had to get an out.

 Posted by at 3:05 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: The fans here have been stricken with an extreme case of disinterest in the remainder of this one. They are headed for the exits.
LA: Those that aren’t have their pillow and blankets.

 Posted by at 3:27 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: It’s so quiet right now. What an opportune time to yell at the umpires.

 Posted by at 3:33 am

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Mar 302012
 

LA: I just figured out why Wheels is so old. He has two birthdays a year.

 Posted by at 3:36 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: We are sitting on reams of paper [at George Steinbrenner field], because the chairs don’t match up with the window ledge, and if you sit in the chairs they provide, you won’t see the plate.

 Posted by at 3:37 am

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Mar 302012
 

Scott: Is [Ryan Pope] really from the Savannah College of Art and Design? They have a baseball team?
LA: I should have him over to look at my interiors.
Scott: To look at that shirt!

 Posted by at 3:41 am