LA: Every now and then, these umpires should watch the game.
LA: 9 balls and 8 strikes so far for Stutes.
Scott: Not an enviable place to be if you’re Michael Stutes.
Scott: McCann called time and motioned for Beachy to come over.
LA: McCann was just sayin’, “Hey, I’m the veteran here. You come to me if you wanna talk.”
Scott: That’s probably not what he was saying.
Scott: The umpires are operating on their discression, and their judgment.
LA: Not that that’s a good thing.
Scott: Well, they got the call right. Maybe they maybe didn’t get there the right way.
Scott: Dan Uggla stole the Phanatic’s four-wheeler before the game. He then threw the key in the Braves dugout.
LA: One thing you don’t wanna do is get into a battle with the Braves bullpen, which has been very stingy.
LA: I don’t think his eyesight’s real good if he thinks that was foul.
Scott: Couldn’t see it. It’s too dark.
LA: They say the ball travels best with the roof closed.
Scott: What about the panels? What does that do?
LA: They– they block the side view.
Scott: You’d think having them open would allow wind to knock balls down, but I’m no physicist.
LA: You’re not even a physician!
Scott: Either something good just happened in the Packers game, or the fans thought it was a really special 1-1 changeup.
LA: They love the changeup here in Milwaukee!
Scott: Phillies nothing and the Brewers nothing, but that’s all about to change, since Larry’s now standing up.
LA: Narvison’s only complete game in his career is none.
Scott: Gus likes turkey dogs.
LA: You pretty much have to take Nyjer Morgan with a grain of salt.
Scott: My white out is out. You never want your school supplies to go bad on the first day of a roadtrip.
LA: With his next contract, Fielder might get some big glue. Might go from Prince to a king.
LA: I don’t know how that ball stands it.
Wheels: Your club is the best in the National League scoring runs with two outs. How much can that demoralize another team?
Scott: Shawn Marcum throws a heater, or as he calls it, a warmer, because it only reaches the upper 80s.
Scott: It’s not exactly worth it to slow down a guy with 18 steals (Victorino). It’s not like they got Maury Wills out there.
Scott: Fans are waiving their tony plush(?) rally towels, which represent what nijer morgan calls his alter ego. Some might just call it his ego.
LA: Some might just say the big ego.
LA: Maybe it’s brighter than we think. I know _I’m_ not, but _it_ may be.
LA: Every squirrel finds a nut now and then.
Scott: The only run off Halladay in eight innings was Corey Hart, who didn’t even touch the plate.
Scott: I love slides.
LA: You must be part cheese-head.
Scott: The Phils’ running game has been pretty-well stalled.
Scott: They might have the tallest hot dog vendor in the league here.
LA: You said lime green stripes.
Scott: No, I said peppermint stripes.
LA: Oh, I was thinkin’ of the lime peppermint.
Scott: We’ll see J.A. Happ on Tuesday.
LA: That’s what it says there, but I’m not sure if that’s correct. Somebody told me we’re not gonna see Happ.
Scott: I’m pretty sure that was me.
LA: Oh. I knew somebody told me that! Why’d you lie to me?
LA: Guess Corey Hart decided to take a pitch with one strike.
Scott: Not sure what kind of strategy that would be.
LA: Cliff Lee is talking to Ted Tichenor with his head down.
Scott: Or Todd Tichenor. You said Ted Tichenor.
LA: Who’s he?
Scott: Maybe his brother.
LA: His friends call him Ted.
Scott: Harry Wright, inventor of cut-off pants, said, “You couldn’t play ball well with inches of flannel flapping around your ankles.”
Scott: I never know what they’re saying on the press announcements. From our spot in the booth, they sound like Charlie Brown’s parents.
LA: Kinda funny to see a .200 hitter (Carlos Gomez) going through all those gyrations at first base after getting a hit. Sometimes you wanna act like you’ve been there before.
LA: Todd Tichenor is just really, really, really not good. At all.
LA: A lot of people have trouble saying my name.
Scott: The Larry part or the Andersen part?
Scott: I don’t know why Charlie chose to use Pete Orr, but he probably has more than we know in his–
LA: Bag of tricks?
Scott: In his information Rolodex.
Scott: Every selected contestant wins a fan pack.
LA: It’s easy to play, but I’m not sure if it’s easy enough for umpires to play.
Scott: Well you do have to LOOK in the Daily News to find the entry coupon.
Scott: Ricky Weeks is the first player to not nearly fall down for the Brewers this week on a pitch inside.
LA: Our bus made a stop at a convenience store in the middle of Tennessee. I asked where the adult beverages were.
LA: I have that trusting-looking face.
LA: It’s an awful lot like sedona red.
Scott: It would be terribly confusing for Juan Samuel to deal with when selecting shoes.
Scott: It’s a crowded dugout and bullpen.
LA: More like a traveling football team.
Scott: Because this broadcast is all about accuracy, we’re going to make an in-game change in the pronunciation of Jimmy Paredes.
Scott: When you’ve lost 97 games, there’s not a whole lot of room for being flashy.
LA: Does it look to you like Brett Myers has kinda taken to burritos here in Houston?
Scott: Well, he was always been a fairly big cat.
LA: He was always fairly big, but he looks fat. Or maybe it’s just his uniform’s blousy.
Scott: I can’t believe you just called him fat.
LA: I couldn’t find the new press box. I ended up in the kitchen.
LA: Kinda surprised I wasn’t right next to Nolan Ryan in the Astros mural.
Scott: Francisco is in his sixth start since July 3, but his third start on this road trip. Might want to think about giving him a breather.
LA: Give him a rest! Easy!
LA: This is a dinky strike zone.
LA: I’m waiting for the time an umpire finally goes, “Ball, I missed it.”
Scott: I hope you don’t hold your breath Larry. Every now and then you say something amusing. Gotta keep that around.
LA: Charlie’s not gonna be happy after the ground ball that Martinez threw to Polanco.
Scott: That play falls in the “sloppy” category he mentioned last night.
Scott: Ball four, somewhere. J.A. Happ can’t believe it, Quintero can’t believe it, I don’t even think Polanco can believe it.
LA: It’s unbelievable!
Scott: I just think it’s a situation where neither batter, pitcher, catcher, nobody knows what a strike is, exactly. Broadcaster…
Scott: They’re goading you: who are the three best umpires in baseball?
LA: There aren’t three. There’s about forty of them that tie for last.
Scott: I can think of one name on this umpire list that will ilicit a positive response out of you.
Scott: The hand-operated scoreboard in centerfield has a better Internet connection than me. Just for that, I’m not gonna read any more scores. They’re probably wrong.
LA: Are Jose Altuve’s socks longer than his pants?
Scott: Bud Norris was definitely upset with that pitch coming up and in from Halladay.
LA: Oh well.
LA: Chooch just tried to flip the ball into the stands but threw it into the screen.
Scott: Threw himself a souvenir.
JJ: Skipper is spunky today.
Wheels: What makes Cliff Lee so effective?
Scott: We’re getting a light bit of light rain falling now at the ballpark.
LA: It’s just a mist.
Scott: I’m not allowed to call that a light rain?
Scott: Then that guy’s not allowed to use his umbrella.
LA: It’s a moderate mist.
Scott: He’s got headphones on, too. He might be listening.
LA: Think he is? Hey you with the green and white umbrella, are you listenin’?!
Scott: I think he might be. He IS listening! Is it really raining? He says it is!
LA: First time I batted, I went to the plate with my jacket. The umpires laughed. When I looked down, I went, “Aw, man.”
Scott: Is everybody allowed to use their umbrellas now, Larry?
LA: Yes, cuz it’s– yes, now it’s heavier.
Scott: Heavy mist or an actual rain?
LA: It’s a rain. Yup, umbrella fan says it’s rainin’.
LA: Those batter’s boxes are not big enough for me. I couldn’t get far enough away from the plate.
Scott: Come out early on Saturday for German Heritage Night. There will be a beer garden tent from 5 to 7. I bet Larry will be there
LA: I’m German!
Scott: It’s beer!
LA: I think Hurricane Irene’s sister showed up today.
Scott: Get into the swing with the home run payoff from the Daily News.
LA: And Scott, did you know it’s really easy to play?
Scott: I was somewhat aware of that fact, Larry.
Scott: We’re just talking on the air about stuff that matters not to those at home.
LA: But it matters to you and that’s important to all of us.
LA: “Watch the playoffs on Fox and TBS… Legends are born in October.”
Scott: You bet they are.
LA: Is that when you were born?
LA: Well, not all legends are born in October then.
Scott: No, but some are.
LA: It was a line drive, but it was like a semi-line-drive.
Scott: What do you mean by semi-line-drive?
LA: I don’t think it was smoked like on the barrel of the bat.
Scott: It had a little hump in the line?
LA: Yeah, a humping line drive.
Scott: You and the humping line drive and the invisimist.
Scott: If Pujols is going to start running, he should try home to first. Just as a way of getting warmed up.
LA: Baby steps.
JJ: Pujols has so much power that if you had the option of surrendering three singles to him instead of challenging him, you just might take it.
LA: Like a moral victory.
JJ: My iPad app is frozen.
Scott: All my electrical tape is gone. You used it to tape up your charging cord.
Scott: Celebrate German Heritage Night tomorrow at the ballpark. A German heritage beer garden tent will be open from 5 to 7.
LA: You might see a broadcaster there!
Scott: Herr Anderson will be there!
Scott: Furcal slugs a bunt to shallow left.
Scott: Lefty Marc Rzepczynski warming up in the bullpen.
LA: I knew who it was, I just didn’t want to have to try and say it.
LA: We go to the bottom of the seventh, with this tie scored at one.
Scott: And the pitch… Berkman takes, just outside.
LA: I don’t think so.
Scott: If they were any deeper in the outfield for Howard, they would need a ticket.
LA: I’m pretty sure Molina could have had a double had he run. He just jogged down to first. That’s disgusting.
Scott: I had a moth on my head.
Scott: I don’t know why. I’m not sure where he went.
LA: If I start to see you flutter around over there, I know it’s somewhere in your jacket or your shirt.
LA: You’ve made me resort to this — rally seeds.
LA: this is the inning of change. it’s gonna happen right now. it’s gonna be a bust out.
Scott: i’m referring to the sunflower seeds on the very tip of your nose.
LA: those are the toughest.
Scott: have you ever counted the most amount of seeds on your seeds on your face?
LA: i think 87.
Scott: how long does it take to get 87 seeds on your face?
LA: about 6 innings.
Scott: i assume it was a game in which you were not playing.
LA: i just did it, whenever i did it.
LA: espinosa is now 7 for 9 off cliff lee with 3 home runs. time to buzz a tower.
Scott: time to take the sunflower seeds off your face.
LA: guess it’s not working, huh?
LA: Get your gear straight from the source: Phillies.com shop.
Scott: “Shop” the Phillies.com shop… It just says “Phillies.com shop”?
LA: There’s no exclamation point after “shop,” so you don’t have to shop, but if you’re gonna get your Phillies gear, get it at the Phillies.com shop.
Scott: There’s no exclamation point?
LA: Nope. It’s not mandatory.
Scott: Well an exclamation point wouldn’t make it mandatory. It would make it exciting!
LA: It is exciting.
Scott: It would make it exclamatory. Is that even a word?
LA: Ask sarge. He knows. It’s not a word.
Scott: Teacher says it is.
LA: Exclamatory? I’m not takin my kids to his school.
Scott: Joe Gains has looked it up. It is an actual word.
LA: Could I have the origin (“or-IH-jin”), please? Could you use it in a sentence?
Scott: It’s irrefragable. Irrefragable, Larry.
LA: what’d you do with my white out?
Scott: I did nothing to your white out
LA: you hid it, i found it.
Scott: Tried to white out your white out. Hide out your white out.
LA: Is this the inning I’ve been waiting for?
Scott: Indeed it is. It’s the home run payoff inning.
LA: You read my mind.
Scott: It’s an open book, larry.
LA: It’s my mouth.
Scott: tomorrow night’s matchup is roy oswalt vs. brad peacock.
LA: tell me all you know about brad peacock.
Scott: i just did.
LA: gotta be a colorful guy.
Scott: Phils now down 7-5 in the 9th, and within a bloop and a blast of tying it up.
Scott: Ruben Tejada’s drag bunt “sacrifice” is scored 2-3.
LA: Sacrifice my foot. That’s just– that’s just– not a sacrifice.
Scott: Pretty sure the intent there was to get a base hit. Nevertheless..
Scott: It’s the fifth inning in New York.
LA: Is this the inning I’ve been waiting for?
Scott: No, it’s the inning after the inning you’ve been waiting for. The home run payoff inning was the fourth. No more funny business.
LA: Hirschbeck’s wrong. No surprise there.
Scott: Pop-up to the mound and Stutes is gonna take it himself.
LA: Great athlete.
Scott: He is from Oregon.
LA: I was going to yell at Hirschbeck just for Hamels. People helping people.
Scott: I’m sure he appreciates it. The sentiment anyway.
LA: They put rules in place just to break ‘em. Laws are made to be broken, Scott.
Scott: Pence hits a line drive 2-run homer!
LA: Take that!
Scott: Legends are born in October. Larry was born in May.
LA: Never wanted to be a legend anyway.